For those of you who have children you know nothing fills the heart and give you warm fuzzies and can get you all vaclamped like rocking your little one. Even at 2 1/2, rocking Brynn and having her melt against my body is as special as when she was a baby.
After her afternoon nap, we just sat in her room with the lights off and no distractions and rocked and rocked. It was at least a good 40 minutes or so. We didn't talk at all and she almost fell back asleep a few times. She's a big thumb-sucker so she had her blankie with the satin edges and rubbed her fingers very gingerly up and down it. She followed suit with her toes. Her blankies definitely give her that 'security' feeling and it's as if she goes into her own little peaceful world.
We snuggle together a lot, but it's been awhile since we did that without a million others things going on at the time (like the TV, dishwasher, washer, Annie barking, my mind racing about what needs to get done at work or at the house, etc). I just watched her the entire time. I wonder what a little 2 1/2 yr old mind thinks about? Is she thinking about one of her toys, a game she like to play, what her next snack will be, playing with her little friends from daycare and church, and so on?
I know I was thinking about her future. What is she going to look like as she gets older? What is her personality going to be? Will she like school and have an easy time making friends? How much peer pressure will she have to deal with? Will we still be close during her teen age years or even older? I even get some morbid thoughts on what if Brynn is one of those kids who has an untimely tragic death? How will I handle it and how much of a heartache that would be? This then makes me think about and reflect on my Christianity. Am I being the best parent I can be? Am I teaching her lessons about Jesus and instilling the proper values in Brynn that I should so that she will grow up to have strong personal relationship with God? Am I putting into practice (DAILY) what I know in my heart I should be doing?
Most days I'd say I fall short, but it's in these moments of staring into Brynn's face that rev me up to stay the course and to keep striving to be the person I know God desires for me to be. Man, this is deep stuff me for me! I am off to pull myself together.... Blessings! Have you rocked your little one lately?
2 days ago
3 comments:
What a great blog. Rocking Brooke is one of my favorite things to do too. I find myself having those same thoughts and it feels overwhelming at times with the great task we have been given. But it is a blessing every day!
Your not alone in your thoughts...we think about that all the time for Emerson, and now for Sören. It's been amazing having kids for so many reasons, but one thing that is so overwhelming to see is their reflection of God and his love. I think about the love I have for Emerson and Sören and know that God's love for us is still a Million times more than that. That thought alone has really opened my eyes to God's love.
I to have had those thoughts of "what if Emerson, Sören, or Tessa" died? What if they all died in a car accident? What would I do? It makes me sick to think of, and that's because of love. I bet God gets that sick when Souls do not find Him. Or when people don't believe in Him or follow him. Kids just change you in so many ways....I am going to stop writing now! haha
Great post kara.
You are a wonderful mom! Just by you having all of those worries shows your commitment and love. I admit to having those feelings also. It can be very overwhelming. Just know that we're not alone. Parents all over the world in the span of history have had those same emotions. All we can do is pray and do our best. (And rely on each other for support!). Rocking Grace is the best!
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